for the last few days i was freaking pissed with all the taiwan earthquake and how it affected the internet and things. zzz. fine. we cant help it anyway. it's an EARTHQUAKE leh. ask it to like... dont happen? yeahs... if you could do that, i would announce to the whole world and everybody will most probably love you and i would make you famous overnight.

whatever.

ytd's band prac was okay la. with all the apparent mood swings &such. one moment jiayi will come to me and asked me why i so sad. next moment zhiyi &heling they all will ask me why i so hyper.
like a zzz.

and i will always feel faint and giddy. zzz. wonder how the hell i can stop that la. in seconds i play already feel giddy. now even worse la. like a whatthehell.

im pretty happy with myself today. until i got a cramp in my hand or something. whatthe.
then became both hands also kena.
then washed hands de shi hou. become numb la.
like a whatthe?
:D thankgoodness i could still handle it.
it was the first time la. it was the first time la!
still some running notes were zzz cuz my fingers are retarded.

tired la...
zzz.

i wont talk about it. there's no point. im having a moodswing right now? yeahs... probably.

&tomorrow im going 3d2n la.
it was the same place. where that place was. where i almost drowned. are those crazy memories coming back again?

i feel so empty. veryvery empty. the rain has stopped, but the emptiness hadn't gone away.
i wish i was with them. the them before. not the them now. and definitely not the them after. cuz i find things turning nastier&nastier. how... UNEASY.

rain on me.

flying finger rawk. cuz i always manage to train right and beat everyone with my amazing high scores. -smug-
:D

everytime.

swing swing ;
7:17 PM;

LALALA COME ON YOU MUST BE FULL OF ENVY NOW!
heh today was a HAPPY HAPPY DAY~!
:D

morning went with my mummy go toa payoh. lol. i grow bigger le kay! so must buy new uniform. &then my mummy pei me hahaha &then went united uniforms. got one outlet at toapayoh marh. in the end...
zzz.
THAT outlet dont sell rv uniform. -.- we nvr call to check la that's our fault too. hahaha.

then went to MY BRO SCHOOL AR! p sch nxt yr le leh. he so big le. hahaha. yeahs went there to collect his CIVICS AND MORAL EDUCATION book. -.-

yeahs then went rv.

the taxi driver is SO funny. he thinks im gna be sec1 nxt yr. -.- do i look that... SMALL?!

raining raining. zzz!

went mummy's office leh! hahaha so long nvr go there liao. abit 尴尬.
:D but nvrm. i had fun being sian diao for awhile then went to play texttwist on a comp. IT'S STUPID OKAY?! zzz. but nonetheless, FUN. :DD

had lunch with my mummy &her colleague &her ex colleague. hahaha.
i actually ate alot. O.O

hahaha took cab! AGAIN. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
then went the cinema beside plaza sing. lol la. queue damn long very hard to get tickets leh
in the end we managed to get 2 tickets. FRONT ROW. LAST TWO TICKETS. O.O
wheeeeeeeeeee we were so damn lucky man.
HEY IT'S WORTH EVERY SINGLE CENT CAN!

:D
HEY DUMBDUMB GIMME SOME GUMGUM
:D

YEAHS and sh also reminded me of the him slapping monkey &monkey slapping him part.
DAMN DAMN DAMN FUNNY.


&&&ALSO,
MY DUMBDUMB WISHES TO SPEAK
(or something like that. LIKE O.O hahaha)

&&&THE DINO WAS SHOCKING TOO. HAHAHA. it disappeared &i heard some people in the cinema GASP. hahaha. i was shoving popcorn in my mouth lo. hahaha.

&&&the taking gibberish part. it was like TOTALLY CRAP LA! then hughug. LOL la!

&&&hey wait. i siao diao liao ar?
zzz.

anyways.
i laughed like siao can?

hahaha.
other than the RAIN, things went pretty well for me today. :D

lalala im a HAPPY GIRL! :DD

swing swing ;
9:18 PM;

:D

today. is christmas day.

(:

i would like to say here...

HOHOHO.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

&A HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY...

okay fine i'll stop that.

NEW YEAR!

WOOHOO~

:D



here's a picture of my beloved three watches i got. wonder why everybody got me watches for christmas. hahaha. :DD

:D i love them all! thank you!

okay fine. i know im skinny. zzz &YES IF YOU DIN KNOW, THAT'S MY HAND.

lol.

heh &i cut my hair on christmas~! lalala.

:DD tata~

(OH YEA! HAHAHA adeline and jieqi tagged leh! thanks you guys! haha missed ya. ): MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO!)

swing swing ;
8:50 PM;

lol.
i dont want to explain too much.
just that...
zzz.
nvrm.

today had been a funny day.

that's all i can say.

with restrictions and rules to follow, it's hard to express anything freely.
at your own pace.
i hate it.

swing swing ;
8:55 PM;

this is a complete rubbish.
O.O see? im not even talking proper english now!

aghast. O.O
zzz.

hmms...
nopes im just thinking aloud. but guess you guys dont have a clue what you are reading now.

i dont know la! anyway... i will see i guess.

i tired. ):
i dont know what i should do leh. it's like a frustrating. VERY VERY FRUSTRATING!
tell me what should i do.

-

im addicted to listening to songs again. those that really... hmms... how to say ar.
like... SHOUT OUT MY FEELINGS.
those kind. that really... FITS my mood. SAYS what i think.
realised i haven't been listening to songs lately. how sad.

is this called jealousy?
you claimed that you aint like that.
but then... the evidence right in front of everybody's eyes la.
in the end, it's always her. not me.

you dont deserve that okay! it's so freaking unfair. i find unpleasant things that were supposed to belong to YOU coming to ME. &pleasant things that were supposed to belong to ME coming to YOU. hey what the hell alright? im sick &tired. wish you would just stop the whole thing la.

realised i've been hiding alot. &i really mean ALOT.

even get the feeling that the more you try to help, the more you are gna add on to the poor person's burden? i understand. i really do. just dont overdo it la. it's becoming annoying and everything. I SERIOUSLY NEED A BREAK. i want everything to be like what was in the past. i really do.
&i think you'll know why.

yeahs.

then i find myself reading alot lately as well. books are nice you know. as a companion. at least you dont have to find yourself becoming all stressed up like in the real world.
so much for alternative worlds ehh?
they hated her. i find her not bad. maybe because i've got this passion for english and poetry and stuff. surprisingly i'd overcome peer pressure. hah. hope she's doing well now. she's so much so much better than the next one la.
i suddenly want e lit. i dont want hist. ): regrets. but oh wells.

life's been upsetting me alot. guess they're right. noone sees this world as pessimistic-ly as me. noone's so... crazy.

crack.

swing swing ;
3:01 PM;

omgawd im in 3i.
hey i wonder... how the hell did they decide which class we are in anyway?
everybody thought it was by subj combi can? hahaha lol...
oh wells.

so far the people who are gna be with me for four years are...
pamela
qianhui
meijie
ziwei
zilie
xianglonn

and those i know. not in 2f de but those i know. zzz only got four leh. that proves how unpopular i am.
constance
jiayi
kexin
rachael

like a what the hell?!
rawr rawr rawr
luan lai de i wish i know how he arranged us into these classes!

... all hopes of being with someone in klarinuts are all gone.
darn my hopes are dashed.
WHO SAID I DIN CARE BOUT WHAT CLASS IM IN?!
well, yeahs me.
but now... well... i do care.
zzz.

sadded. ):
like my mood aint lousy enough.
rawr.

swing swing ;
9:25 PM;

swing swing ;
1:37 PM;

ohya! &&&i'll be waiting for my new blogskin to be finished :DD
then i'll thank sylviaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa:D
then i'll be happy again!:D
then i'll...
hmm...
then i'll...
i dont know.
stop staring at me like that. i know i've gone mad.
it was probably due to my thinking too much these few days.
the next post will be abstract. real abstract.
nvrm i'll post that tgt with this post.

-- here goes.

i dont know what the hell struck me. after i heard that i felt like there was this something wrong. i dont want myself to go so deep into this yknw. im afraid. very afraid. that history would repeat itself. when things keep happening over and over again, you start to think that maybe it's just like that in your life. &if it's unpleasant, you would try not to do things that would lead to the possibility that that particular scene would appear in your life again.
come on. it's true.
i want a break. i have enough stress. even now. during the holidays. im not gna want myself to break down and commit suicide when school starts. im not gna let any of that happen. &i know it will happen unless i do something to this i dont know what between us.
im not her. but im afraid i will become a her soon.
i hope you understand. i really cant take the pressure. everytime things that dont go well for me comes my way, i will completely go into depressed mode and... ya you should know.
i tested it last night. either it's simply a stoopid coincidence, or you are getting the hint, or you dont even care.
i hope it's not the third one, although it might be 50% true.
im just this girl who wants to pia her studies nxt year. im afraid you would somehow ruin it for me. it's already about one yr... and these things always collapse after a yr...
im afraid. i just dont have the trust anymore. &yes i gta admit, im not trusting you.
i dont wna end up like her.
i dont wna ruin my relationship with her.
i dont wna continue something that i know would end soon leaving only tears for me.
&that's why i would want to end it now, before i reach that ending where tears are all i can think of.
i know if i end it now, i wouldn't be that sad compared to if you end it in the future. i know if i end it now, it wont have any great impact on any of us compared to if you end it in the future.
im doing whatever's best for us.

telepathy? im not even sure. i've somehow convinced myself that the truth is you dont even care.
thanks for breaking it. so much for everything.

sour. ):

swing swing ;
5:39 PM;

swing swing ;
5:36 PM;

swing swing ;
4:42 PM;