♪ cant trust you, ;

Friday, November 25, 2011

It's my birthday today.

Well gosh. Can't believe I'm another year older.

My petulant child act is still constantly going on and off, and it's difficult to be reasonable when I'm such a spoilt princess.

Good natured bickering with the family,

Laughs with my closest girlfriends,

Jokes with my closest guy friends,

And I feel blessed.

Hopefully today will be an awesome day. I'm going to get high at least once I swear!

swing swing ;
1:57 AM;

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Nice beats make me want to jump up and down in euphoria. Ohmygoddd.

All H's fault, I swear. It's like that time with techno music.

PUT CHO HANDS UP!!

Today was a horrible day but it's ending on a really good note! I have tomorrow to finish my revision on Physics and score like mad on Thursday. 4AUs, I PWN YOU.

Oh love love love GOING MADDDDDDDDDDDDDD JUMPING AROUND ALREADY (:

http://youtu.be/DnPOM88UwB4

THIS. So nice to get high on.

Next goal: Get my appetite back!

swing swing ;
10:33 PM;

好想知道你的一百分会给怎样的人-

Tired. So goddamn tired.

Wanting to make up for past mistakes is just so frustrating.

The minute I get flustered, I think I'm complaining, and I don't deserve to.

So I get even more upset.

It's really late and I'm still wondering whether to do Econs pyp.

swing swing ;
12:53 AM;

Sunday, November 20, 2011

The one day countdown has started a few hours back. I'm now left with only a few hours, and that does not include sleeping hours.

At home can't study sia, seriously..

swing swing ;
6:03 PM;

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Almost regurgitated the contents of my stomach just now while showering. And I ate normally today, meaning it wouldn't only be acid but still..

This despair. I wouldn't exactly call it stress. Okay fine, I call it stress.

Be brave. This will be over soon.

Shoulder to lean on, literally. Was nice.

And the others, makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

And then I look at myself and I'm shrinking again. The flaws have never been so significant till now.

I'm a woman child. Unwanted.

But enough of that. I'm stronger now. I will be strong always.

Goodnight world..

swing swing ;
11:47 PM;

Just a few days more to start of finals.

*spasm*

Just sprint liao lor. Chiong. Finishing line is in sight.

Had a fever yesterday and it left as soon as it came. Terrifying.

Well this cold better leave too, soon. I don't want it to stop me from getting my A's.

Came here with so many unspoken words but my words are awkward and clumsy once I type. I don't understand. It is not comprehensive and does not express what I'm feeling, AT ALL.

Happy days. They will last, you bet they will.

swing swing ;
1:30 AM;

Friday, November 11, 2011

HAPPY 11/11/11 EVERYONE!

So much love and laughter today. (:

I feel uncharacteristically happy. And that's so rare and awesome, really.
Everything's still falling perfectly in place, and I love my life right now.

Gonna work really hard for finals,
get that GD fawesome GPA,
then call for a party rock anthem :D

"Pain is temporary. GPA is forever."

SMILE EVERYDAY LUH, LIFE IS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

Mantra for life (:

**

Be your sunflower forever.
Sleep all day, sleep all night!
Drown in your scent, your smile.
TJH ♥

swing swing ;
4:14 PM;

Thursday, November 10, 2011

#include

int main (void)
{
printf("Announcement: Yip Chun Yee Jennie has died due to excessive exposure to computing.\n");
printf("I don't even know whether this code will work.\n");
printf("Oh, and also, what the hell are functions and arrays?\n");
printf("I'm dead. Dead people don't think. Dead people give up on computing.\n");

return 0;
}

swing swing ;
10:42 AM;

Okay basically it's Thursday now and my schedule is STILL stupid.

I'm finally staring at the computing tutorial for functions.
There's this question? It's almost 2 pages long?
Like,

Wao. What is this fuckery.

Spots in my vision soon. Currently want food + sleep but neither is possible. I'm too darn lazy for the former, and as for sleep, duh, obviously. -_-

Computing is interesting though. I mean, I actually CAN like to do it. Just not now.
I stare at my answer for the first quiz, and I am STILL blown away.

Are you sure that's my work?

Because, wao, I can do that?!
Sure, it's not executable, but hey, I still got a bloody A for it. Not bragging though, but really, I'm shocked. I don't know how I managed to type all that and submit it. That day was a blur, actually.

But I'm thinking this sudden talent for computer programming is just for that one time. Please let me get an A again? :/
I can dream, can't I?

Just a little more. My stress level is erractic and all over the place. People are starting to talk about First Class, and it's ALL THEY CAN TALK ABOUT. -_-
No, I'm not saying it's not important.
And I am hardly surprised.
But this pressure is !@#$%^&*

I got into uni,
I was given a fresh start,
a blank new canvas.

I want that goddamn First Class.

Of course, I must work for it.

And I am. I can feel myself getting better, crawling out of the emptiness I've felt prior to A's.
And that's bloody awesome. You have to be me to experience this euphoria.

Well, I just hope the rate I'm going is enough.
And that it lasts.

swing swing ;
12:09 AM;

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Planned a study schedule, initially for the sole purpose of feeling more at ease. But I'm actually attempting to follow it! 10 bucks on not following through for the first few days.

Yesterday was 8 Nov and I had wanted to finish reading the entire notes for Physics Part 3. There were 4 parts to the notes.

My progress now is 3/4.
And if you wanted to be technical about it, I've actually only finished 2/4 because I don't think anything from the 3rd part has gone in. And the 4th part? It has more pages than the first 3 parts -_-

Well according to my schedule, I would have some free time here and there (my schedule is shit though, can't be trusted).
So I'm not too worried.

Today is Computing Day! I plan to cover the entire syllabus. A rather obnoxious goal (again). But there's a test (makeup -_-) tomorrow. I'll cover as much as I can ^^v

Looking around at everyone around me slogging for their finals. It makes me anxious but I'm glad I'm still on track (with my shit schedule lol).
Have good motivation in the form of two dudes who make sure I eat during this stressful period. Blessed, really. And they don't stop mugging, like, at all. Which gives me the psychological force to do the same when I'm with them.

AIYA. Sian la. Just chiong and follow schedule. Byebye. xoxo

swing swing ;
11:54 AM;

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Momentum.

p=mv

PUSH THROUGH.

swing swing ;
10:47 AM;

Monday, November 7, 2011

A level are starting tomorrow. Feeling some pretty serious déjà vu right now.

I'd better learnt my lesson.

swing swing ;
4:21 PM;

You got a effing nerve.

Bitter heart.

H told me to "F it, I'm moving on."

Well, f it, I'm moving on.

swing swing ;
11:35 AM;

Sunday, November 6, 2011

AMANDA SEYFRIED. THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY.

I USED TO HATE MY HAIR. SHE GIVES ME RENEWED HOPE.

LOL.

YOU HOT BADASS GIRL, I LOVE YOU.

swing swing ;
10:36 PM;

Friday, November 4, 2011

Was mad tired but couldn't sleep. It was an entirely whole new level.

Dragging myself out of it to face the music.
After all, I'm stronger now.

Bak kut teh tonight.
Hopefully I'll be able to stomach down, don't wanna lose weight (again) just because of stress.

swing swing ;
6:09 PM;

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

NOT SLEEPING TONIGHT.

swing swing ;
11:03 PM;

There is just one simple plan in my head and that is to just do it.

If only it were that simple.

**

I realise once again why I used to blog so much. It's addictive to type out all your thoughts, like Twitter, only without the 140 word limit.

I stare at my work pile now and nod. It looks manageable. But I know I won't be able to manage because

I'm not Superwoman.

Have to just start, I guess. A whole day for me to read through everything. And maybe buy past year papers later from LWN library.

**

This is a good time to find myself. ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF I SET MY HEART AND MIND TO IT.

I am going to have a blast at the end of this, when I come out unscathed because I am THAT GOOD.

This is not me being egoistic. I am hardly the overconfident person I pretend to be. I just need to tell myself that I'm good often enough so I can believe in it.

Okay then, back to my notes and pieces of paper that I currently don't understand, but will understand hopefully by the end of today.

Bye.

swing swing ;
12:44 PM;

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Had my speech today. Was shaking like a damn leaf.

Goddammit. It had never been this bad before. Speech making to me was supposed to be nerve wrecking but manageable.

Our group had done pretty well as a whole. I'm proud of us.

Just have to stop disappointing myself. Three more hurdles to go.

**

I'm so weak ):

Just a bit of force and I'm sent tumbling down the hill like Jack and Jill.

I refuse to be effed in the head again.

Must. Make. Myself. Care.

Care about it. Try hard. Then try my hardest.

I have so much to prove, so much to do, and I can't possibly stop here without even putting a foot forward.

Someday I'd like my angsting to produce some result.

After all I have to keep my eyes on the goal. Life's not gonna be aimless and fumbling and bumbling and flailing.

Life's gonna be awesome. I just have to start. NAO.

swing swing ;
6:28 PM;