Freaking headache's bothering me for the whole day ):
Got real bad at the end, and again Haiwei suggested to grind Panadol.
(Y)

"I believe you can do it."
Lol. Yea, thanks.

Needs to sleep. Productivity level going down le, but at least I'm halfway there (:
Abit more to chiong lolll,

Hmm..

swing swing ;
10:03 PM;

swing swing ;
2:19 AM;

Really, Jennie? Faith? What were you thinking, applying such a concept on her of all people?

Well, I used to believe that what comes around goes around,
and if karma's a bitch, I'm getting on her good side and let good karma back me up.
I'll be a nice person, I'll do frivolous unnecessary stuff so nothing bad happens.

Well apparently karma's a backstabbing bitch.

Now I ain't so nice. I know better than to be naive now.

Here's waiting for the year to end so that I can pen down my thoughts on every single person who's made an impact on my life in RV,
and send it to them so they know. Good or bad, these memories are something I'd never give up.

swing swing ;
4:56 PM;

I think I succeeded in that little bubble I've always wanted.
To some extent.

Been a long week, and now I have a deadline to meet.
Inspiration hasn't come knocking on my door yet,
But well, I guess I CAN come up with smth, still, if I REALLY want to..

Nevermind I shall sleep after awhile..

Maybe when I have more time I might be able to make things right, or decide to give up completely.
It'd be a pity, because emotional ties are never easy to break. Especially when it's someone you shouldn't break it with.
We are both stressed. But I just don't get you anymore.. I try, but well, why aren't you too?

swing swing ;
11:36 PM;

Bad day, could feel it in my bones.
Found myself spacing out every few minutes.

Can't do anything right,
Can't say anything right.

No energy lor, tired mah. Stoic again,
Loop, because routine hard to change.

I must not let myself be affected by things around me leh.
It sucks lor. I need my own bubble.

Then right, suddenly become white colour.
Orh wait, sorry, I just faking it. I am actually well enough to attend lessons. Just that hor, I was bored so I decided to go to the sick bay and call you to come fetch me.
I fake one la. Not like you care right. I very good at acting ke lian anyw. Just wince abit and done lor.
"Belinda had that constant sense of panic stemming from the feeling she's invisible."

Moo wasn't nice today. She was in a bad mood bah, maybe. I don't really care. Hot chocolate didn't help. I sweated. I don't like to sweat. I don't sweat. Not much. Not even during PE.

NTU talk was useless. Company recruiting people sia. I look like I need that type of info ar? Invite JC people to come and listen to companies promoting themselves. Piang..
Neuroscience is interesting. Can be linked to psychology sia..
Hmm.. Contemplates.

Had pepper lunch. I like.

swing swing ;
11:42 PM;

What a day.
I seem to get back home every Wednesday feeling like my life has made an interesting turn.

Editorial meeting was nice today, I feel excited for our future plans.
Now that we're free to run with our many wonderful plans, we won't let anything get in the way of making this CCA as rich and interesting as it should be. It should have been this way from the start. But now we shall have the Montage as our official product in the CCA, and we also have the -.
Lol, aiyah, don't say la, spoil the surprise (:

So interesting. I think Ms Yim is pretty annoyed at the way I go really shy and inhibited during her GP lessons and yet am pretty vocal during Editorial meetings. Haha, at least she's aware that my brain's not empty.

Mr Koh was.. interesting. Lol. Shall not say more.

Am still addicted to Pepper Lunch! Someone save me from this madness. Wlao.

Likes Mr Khoo a lot. Heh.

Hmm, music.

Right now it's a difficult goal, I'm counting on my luck. But discipline, as I should know very clearly by now, is something I have to master to improve myself as a person. Must strive hard to train myself back to shape. Then, I'd have something to serve as an assurance to both myself and the people around me.

swing swing ;
9:32 PM;

I must maintain a certain level of stress. Schoolwork is fun when I actually come to doing it.

NO, I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT.
Hahaha.

I'm kinda at a loss. Has no idea what to do, how to react.
But I swear, I really do hate E. I fell down the snake. Wonders when I have another chance to climb a ladder. Policies are difficult concepts for me to grasp :/

Hmm *thinks hard*

Tomorrow's gonna be another crap day. Shall make sure I make full use of everyday. (:

(OH AND BTW, RV FLOODED TODAY. NAH, DON'T MEAN TO COMPLAIN, BUT THIS NEW CAMPUS IS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD 8D)

swing swing ;
10:04 PM;

Baked rice,
the usual.

There's this smell coming from my bag. No, not stinky smell ._.
I kinda like it.
Lol.

I loved the pictures of me and Zoey in Haiwei's Facebook overdues album.
Jennie: I think we should abolish school.
Zoey: Really?

Seriously man, whattheshit. Our expressions were good. (Y)
I wasn't even aware that she took such unglam pictures of me.

Ohwell, nevermind, I can't be glam even if I tried.

Anyway, there's school tomorrow.

(:

swing swing ;
11:13 PM;

swing swing ;
3:57 PM;

I looked at the piece of black and white,
and thought to myself this is how I want my life to be.

But of course simplicity escapes me,

But for now, I'm content,
To breathe easy and let it be.

**

This week (I refuse to call it a holiday. Actually, I don't even know what a holiday is anymore, so..)
is.. I lost my train of thought.

._.

Ahwell, anyw, perhaps going out today will be good for me.

Tomorrow shall be a fresh start for me <3

swing swing ;
4:29 PM;

I don't like uneventful days. :/

Breathe hard, cus it's exhilarating,
then I can't breathe anymore looking into those eyes.

Clinging on, like a cat mewling at the sight of milk,

Clinging on, clinging on, you're my security blanket.

And today was taxing, again.
Woke up feeling unsatisfied, then headed off to shop (yes, I love this part.)
and finally to a 4 hour + session of cold hard facts.

By the time my head landed on the table with a dull thud,
I know something is going on because the headache was awful. Most probably my brand new orange specs, because it was the type of headache that I didn't get before. My usual headache is another type. Ah can't really think right now.
Needless to say, it's my red specs I'm using right now.

Hmm, shall be time conscious tomorrow. Everyday should feel like it's scheduled nicely. That is how people like me (rigid) should lead their lives.
PLAN PLAN PLAN.
Then I won't lose.

Completely Econs obsessed. Thanks to supplementary, outside classes, and my econs revision.
Awful shit, I swear. Everything around me can be related to Econs concepts now.
Nono, that's not good. I need to REMAIN sane. Or insane. Whatever fits.

Hoping the two Jurong-ers would be great companions tomorrow. Law.. Hmm.. Nah. Nevermind, shall just bring my homework along and drown the talk out. (:
IF it's a talk, that is. Don't even know what's going on again. Am clueless. Am not gonna help myself be more aware of things going on around me cus there's no point.

Yay, Maybe Not tee rocks. A tad too big, but doesn't matter, I like.

swing swing ;
9:48 PM;

Snap my neck in half,
I wanna see me die, then look in your eyes,
and gain the satisfying knowledge that you realise just exactly what kind of mistake you're making.

Watching the video during GP today was rather.. enriching.
The.. top girl, whatever her name is, if you just consider the good points,

Well at least she has the grades and the darn supportive parental figure by her side.

I wanna know exactly what it takes to make me break.
I'm feeding on illusions, pretense, then ultimately, I rebel.

I wanna taste the most awful thing in the world,
Just have a lick, just have the torture,
just to know.

I wanna punish myself for all that I can't do.
I wanna know, I wanna feel.

And then I'm feeling.
I break when I feel.
I break when you say things that make my heart race, make my head pound, make my face red, make my body shake, make my eye twitch, make my nose itch.

I finally break, and I don't like breaking at all but breaking is all I do.

I broke a boiling tube today.

I burnt my 2,4-DNPH derivative. It is like me, it is red, then flaming red, then black.
It is me.

I am useless and ugly. Not because I say so, but because I'm told so.

I have a mountain heap of white beside me, as evidence of my weaknesses.
I am the lousiest person in the world,

Hence I break.

swing swing ;
11:36 PM;

I realise I'm a selfish person.
I'd totally monopolise people if I get the chance.

Like, RAWR *bites* then never let go.
And, RAWR *bites* till YOU let go of whoever I'm monopolising.

Grins-

Whatever, it's getting tiring.
I keep telling myself not to fall back on you,
cus even if you don't know it, I can't fall back on you.
You'd let me down.

I like Adam Lambert's Whataya Want From Me MV.
Okay, who am I kidding. I totally loved it.
Drooled 10+ buckets alr.
Hahah, if I thought he was appealing in For Your Entertainment with his wicked eyebrows,
he blew my mind away in WWFM with his innocent tortured look!

Hahaha omg.
Seriously man, it's undeniable that he's sexy la. Even if he's gay.

Hahaha, die. Must get a grip. Cute but unattainable guys, I shall not drool over.

Eyes shining bright bright tonight HAHAHA.

Ah cannot sleep tonight already. XD

**

I saw some poster of some movie called Remember Me. One of the actor is *gasp* Robert Pattinson.
This time, make poster not bad. Not like Twilight. Twilight's poster of him was horrible.
I swooned. A little. But not as much as ADAM LAMBERT.

:D Am totally siao alr.
Shall go before I work myself into an even more uncontrollable frenzy.
Tahs!

swing swing ;
10:01 PM;

Emotions playing peek-a-boo with my heart today.
Feel my heart breaking, then a bright smile on my weary face, and then I'm down again.

Guess I'm REALLY jaded LOL.

Tomorrow's Chemistry. Shall work hard.

Doesn't want to bother anymore, because my heart's getting weaker with every moment spent floating around helpless.

Olh was nice to me today,

Zoey's a VERY good friend, I wish I can help her back the same way she helped me.

Ah, my brain's still full of Economics shit, and a bit of Chemistry now.
Can't really think.

Guess my blog's gonna be pretty inactive for a while.

swing swing ;
10:31 PM;

I liked Wings.
It was something I wrote on impulse, I guess you could say inspiration had struck.

But it was angst. As usual.
Still, considering the context I've written it in, angst wouldn't be deemed unsuitable.

I liked -, too.
But I can't show.
Because it's a place I'd like to keep to myself.

Am starting to like Muse.
Alot.

First, it was Uprising and those damn zombie bears in the MV.
Then it was Undisclosed Desires and its really goading tune. I mean, you hear it and you can't help but to sing along.
Now it's Resistance, and yeahs, I can't exactly resist.

Great track la.
I rewinded and rewinded and rewinded.

Time loses track of itself around me at night.
It's like, one minute I'm doing this, the other minute I'm doing that, and I look at the clock and it reads freaking *inserts time that you'd like to label as very late at night*

Ah, shall try my bestest. This effort will not be in vain. Will NOT, I tell ya.

I'm joining Facebook Anonymous,

Serious.

swing swing ;
9:39 PM;