♪ cant trust you, ;

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Ah, feels good to play the weak.
And I look it, too.

Void isn't good.
Maybe this will pass after a while.

FCP was good. It hasn't finished, so I shall add it to my long long list of.. links I need to revisit.
Cus fictional characters have their certain charm.
And no, I haven't gotten around to write a story of my own ._.

Hmm. Race you till it's three. Then it's off to undeserved, but required rest. Dammit.

Insomnia, plus all this growing up.
Calm. But not so.

It's still rather confusing, so I'd better stop acting like a weirdo.

swing swing ;
2:09 AM;

Sunday, September 27, 2009

The sky is vulnerable to my mood swings.

Oh wait, they ain't mood swings.
These mood changes actually happen for a reason.

So it was a green,
then it became an orange,
and later it became a dull blue,
and now it's just a fiery red.

Yes I'm pretty angry.
Angry at mood swings.
Of other people, not me.

I guess the red will fade soon. A good thing, a good thing.
Good things come to those who wait.
And time is all I have.
Or don't have.
(Going on roller coasters, tripping on my words, it ain't fun.)

I slept for three and a half hours today in the afternoon after all.
Am well rested, thanks for asking.
Not.

Bad idea, emotions make me vulnerable.
I shouldn't make the sky vulnerable by associating it to my emotions.
It didn't do me shit.

And now I'm just a cranky ass.
I swear, if I'd known better,
I wouldn't have reflected so much today.
It's making me moody. I have a negative mind.

This blog never ceases to amaze me.
I don't post so that others can read it.
I post so that I can vent.
And these feelings ain't exactly supposed to be put out to the public.
But oh well, diaries are so last year.

(You people shut up, these thoughts in my head, should stay IN my head.)

DEFINITELY cranky ass.

swing swing ;
9:16 PM;

a really dull day today,
with loads of reflections,
and nahs, for the last time, i ain't emo. haha.

._.

that didn't sound convincing, but i assure you, i'm telling the truth.

can't wait for 4i clique's next outing,
or meeting,
or gathering,
or whatever.

because seriously, i'm alr addicted to all things bowling,
all things mahjong,
and all things *laughter.

*laughter is insane. we'd speak nonsense,
we'd have fun.

i can't believe friday was the last time we met up, it felt like ages ago.

hmm,

wants some changes in my life.
now that i know my personality type, (from friday, no doubt.)
i realise i need to challenge myself.

NAHS xD

routine's comfortable to me,
dull, but comfortable.

and the talk last night with gohjiayi made me realise i haven't exactly been very open.
like, i bottle things up, i hide, and i basically don't trust people.
cus apparently i act differently around different people xD

let's just name it as a case of split personalities.
and let's stop talking about split personalities.
it's making me nervous. heh.

it's school tomorrow.
like, real school.
i have to remember to be a "responsible maths rep". :D
and maybe next year i'd get to keep my post :x

pw first thing in the morning.
warning: i am NOT a morning person.
two freaking hours!
who can endure that?

and yea, sadly i'm the one disappointing my group. gna finish up my stupid wr conclusion from ten million years ago. i hope noone's upset with me, yet. ):

for once in a long long time (or was it just a few days?)
i wish i have my security blanket with me.

swing swing ;
8:24 PM;

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Gray is a colour of deception.

She'd like to paint her skies a black for today, though.

Think it would be pretty fitting.

swing swing ;
10:49 PM;

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

DAMN IM UNINSPIRED AGAIN.
):

i should have known better than to leave an idea alone.

once it's gone, it's gone.
ahhh this is so sad..

i need new inspiration :D

swing swing ;
10:35 PM;

DARN INSPIRED.

cus she's a dancer,
a painter,

an artist full of expression.

passion's what i'm looking for in my fictional characters,

and i really hope this story comes out totally.
i want this to be one of the very rare times i am really proud of my long term commitment :D

IMMA BE A WRITER,
FOR NOW :D

gods, i've gone nuts.

swing swing ;
8:44 PM;

Thursday, September 10, 2009

wouldn't even listen to myself anym.

imma nutcase. lol.

(NOW GOGOGO, YOU USED TO BE A WORKAHOLIC. YOU CAN DO THISSSSSSSSSSSS :D)

(i have to stop pep talking myself then going back on my word.)

swing swing ;
3:28 PM;

Thursday, September 3, 2009

i stand tall,
(no not really.)
and stare at them, right in their bloody eyes.

stare them down,
stare them down,
i really wanna stare them down,

but then i looked away,
my heart skipped a beat,
i'm not ready to do this, am i?

so they'd keep staring,
and i'd keep glaring,

ultimately, i hope i win this stare down.

swing swing ;
8:39 PM;