Daijoubu, (:

Need to keep them open wide,
To absorb more about the world,

Or our existence will make less and less purpose.

Conclusion: Sleep less, (don't care you sleep deprived or not la!)

Constantly forced on a roller coaster,
Emotional ones,
Study stress ones,
Life problem ones,

And every few minutes I would drop down low and rise up again.

Can't really take it ><

**

I need to starve myself,
So that I would enjoy myself more when I finally get the things I want.

swing swing ;
10:35 PM;

false persuasion.

**

when your life is nothing but a lie,
make white truths to contain it!

because there must be some truth to everything.

**

someone please tell me when the tests are? xD
i tried to write them down, and then realise everything's haywire.
so i need exact dates, because my writing is not to be trusted rofl.

killjoy,

**

Claws out, I'm ready to draw blood.

Cease the war,
And create peace.

swing swing ;
11:24 AM;

Bring upon the merry-go-rounds, swing your arms; go cheery-chum-chum.

i hate this world so.

continue maintaining the distance.
damn you.
im not a yoyo, stop yanking me back and forth.
im not a toy, my emotions are not for you to play with.

get out of my life.

im being immature,
im being evil,
im being the bitch the way i've been one these few days.

and gp articles do not help.

swing swing ;
10:47 PM;

so damn me if i fall,
again.

im just gna rise, high high up into the sky,

a balloon, a cloud and all tht's zooming by,

and nthg's gna bring me down,
not a pin, the rain, the end of the world,

because i'd be on my high.

**

chemistry is becoming funner for a reason i cant fathom.
it's weird, really. its status is fluctuating - from my best sci to my worst sci to my best sci to my worst sci.

and biology?
hell my interest's still there (i hope.)
just like history, im just gna try and give it my best shot.

thinking about careers takes up alot of your brain cells.
i'd like to be an astronaut too,
or an actress,
or a construction worker,
or an author,
or the security guard below my block right now, who changes every month.

wonder what they do, they are incompetent security guards sometimes :/

ah heck.

swing swing ;
10:07 PM;

okay kiwi wants me to advertise this.

Support Earth Hour 2009! http://www.earthhour.org/signup/sg:en

swing swing ;
10:23 PM;

never in my short short life have i wondered about how happy i'll be after i finished my nanotech report.
(yea im aware of how that sounded.)

well,
im beyond happy now.
im practically floating.

for those who havent finished,
if it makes you feel any better,

that damn piece of work is the only damn thing i finished.

i shall welcome hell~

lol.

swing swing ;
6:05 PM;

i'd have thought my inspiration would have come back by now,
but sadly,
my arms are lazy sticks of steel,
and they're simply too difficult to persuade.

i wont move them then.

**

trust, sensitivity,
is tht so hard to find?

swing swing ;
9:22 PM;

I got my inspiration and I was dumb not to blog about it.
Now I have forgotten what I was inspired by.

I truly am a dumb girl.

Anyhow,
tahs.

swing swing ;
8:46 PM;

i've never been the type to handle emotions well.
especially negative ones.

so when rage gets the best of me,
i do bad things.
i bawl my eyes out,
i stare,
i glare,
i cut,
i grah,
i slash,

i get rly rash.

it's getting absurd really.
whatthehell are we doing exactly.

this is madness.

some happy day this turned out to be.

and the only hmwk i can vent on is a stupid MATHEMATICS assignment that very non-explicitly promotes awareness for having a cleaner environment.
see the link?
well, i dont.

curse rage.
it makes me do dumb things.

CURSES! ._.

and the songs are getting downright boring.

who wants to eat when im darn angry.
the only thing i wanna swallow down right now is my anger.
stupid heat it's so hot i cant stand it.
im so darn bloody angry.

stupid, first it's depression, now it's violence.
next thing you know, im a bloody serial killer who had some painful memories and wants to wipe out every individual of the human population off the face of the earth,
and then, jump off mount everest and die a satisfactory death.

i think im not alright now.

im so screwed.

swing swing ;
1:52 PM;

swing swing ;
1:18 PM;

a sense of loss..

is that what im supposed to be feeling?

**

sigh, the songs are getting boring as well.
i gna go sleep soon after transferring them.

sian.

swing swing ;
11:18 PM;

swing swing ;
2:50 AM;

distracted mind,
and a bleeding finger.
):

all the things she said-
all the things she said,
running through my head-
running through my head-
running through my head,

&i seriously cant believe im addicted to a stupid game like mousehunt.
i think im addicted to everything stupid.
._.

haiwei was amused when i told her during econs tut that i wish i could go home and play mousehunt.

so..
mosquitoes?

sigh,
im such a sad case for biology.
but im not gna regret, cus im sure i'll face some probs with physics if i had chosen it.
and i wouldn't be in this fantastic class if i had :D

so, heck. i'd just self study i guess.
i hope the schl provides us with good notes.

swing swing ;
9:32 PM;

lols.
hmm, i needed some info, so i actually went to read my oldest blog posts.

i realise im writing gibberish all the time xD

ohwells :D

sigh tireddd,
i cant wait for our
HOLIDAY
STUDY BREAK
STUDY WEEK
PRE EXAM PREPARATION WEEK

xD

rofl. my finger got stuck in my murderous clarinet today.
im never sticking my finger in it again.
laughed like hell and everyone was O.o at me.
farah was amused that i was amused, but was pretty worried for me.
chuashixian completely went I DONT THINK IT'S FUNNY OMG, YOU CAREFUL LEH, TRY TO TWIST IT OUT
(i didn't mean to use caps xD)
so the rest were just staring at my stuck finger.

the only other person who laughed was chuahuili.
i swear, that girl's evil xD
huiyuan was saying ohmygod and she was laughing.
tsk.

ohwell in the end i yanked my finger out.
it was red for awhile, but heh xD i still think it's rather amusing.

swing swing ;
9:32 PM;

i see im being a stupid kia again.

oh my eyes hurt so..

swing swing ;
10:34 PM;

swing swing ;
8:57 PM;

i have obviously gone mad.

*evil laughter*
(why does it constantly remind me of me holding constance's math tutorials and saying, "i will use this documents to conquer the world~!" and evil laughing?)
oh. right.
it's rather self explanatory.

i shall point at myself and whisper,
"yupps. definitely nuts."

GOD!
.________________.

nahhh,
shall go celebrate my having lobster pee all over me.
apparently i fought with lobsters xD
ask haiwei for details ._.

so typical of the juvenile fools we are-

swing swing ;
11:09 PM;

swing swing ;
5:06 PM;

i suck.

i shall do my hmwk.
it's the safest way to maintain my state of emotions.

i will be sian when i do my hmwk.
that means i might or might not emo,

but at least i wont be disappointed.

swing swing ;
10:05 PM;

it's so bloody red,

so red till it hurts.

no, silly i didn't cut myself.
only stupid people do that.

i hit myself with smth.

besides that, i see red.
which means im angry.
really angry.

and when im too angry,
bad things happen.

and i didn't hurt myself btw ._.
in case people start scolding me for self mutilating.

im just angry,
and it's hard to explain,
neither do i want to explain,

and i see so much red it hurts.
so damn much.

swing swing ;
11:20 PM;

a ass.
im a ass.
._.

**

was pretty much scaring the hell out of shixian today :/
i'd swing all the way up, laughing at all the non-funnies,
and then i'd go all the way down, grumbling about why the door did not open itself for me.
not to mention me exclaiming the fact that i would never have violent tendencies, and at the same time kicking the wall.

then she'd be the perfect bestie, and would stay with me through it all.

i made a wise choice when i married her.
xD

**

i must say,
wasabi chips are loves.
i cant get enough of them.
and they cheer me up lot lot.

i swear,
gummies and chips are gonna bring my swing way up.

but for now,
it's kfc dinner, (unhealthy~)
and the really SMALL frown i have on my face now.

off to have food, even though my teeth hurts and i really am uncomfortable eating.
but post exam stress seems to do wonders to my appetite.

swing swing ;
7:53 PM;

nah,
i aint stressed.
im just going through this mildly disturbing change in my system.

it's growing,
&im lashing out at every potential victim.

**

damn i need my sleep.
my eyes will never recover this way.

the damn wound is still thr,
so my self congratulatory post aint here yet.

why am i blogging?!

im a joke.
i cant even do a pi.

i shall laugh at myself and then form disturbing thoughts about suicide and genocide,

and perhaps act on my thoughts.

swing swing ;
11:20 PM;

love at first sight,
never thought it could happen to me-
but you made me believe~

KIDNAP MY HEART <3

**

today was rather comical.
i was kinda high,
and blurted out alot of nonsense.
and yes, without thinking.
._.

and really,
we all agree that HE has edward's eyebrows and all,
but too bad,
he doesn't have his face shape.

and he's not hot,

NEITHER IS erhem.

(stupid shixian rofl xD)

almost got into trouble in chem too when i blurted out smth.
thank god she didn't hear it HAHAHA.

naaa, i think it's too amusing.
i shall let my hand control my pen.
my brain inactive, and all.
i actually draw nicer that way ._.
(yupps, of course i do. because did you even see my previous drawings?! they're the epitome of ugly i swear. stickman and stuff. tsk.)

nor shall i force poems out when i have no darn inspiration.
the poems that come out suck.

i shall continue me, huili, serming's taopok tradition.
buy taopok only (without rice) from stall 1!
their taopok rocks :D

(i caught serming buying one today. xD we amuse the aunties, seriously.)

i must say, mingshin's art really rocks.
i shall laugh more during pw.

^^
jasperhale and edwardcullen are loves.
(i mean the real copies okay! :D)

fanfiction has destroyed my alr half destroyed brain.
oh it's so sad D:

swing swing ;
6:25 PM;

lol,
*put lips to fingers*

i shall rub my temple,
cool my nerves,
and relax.

need some silence,

im not some troublemaker,
a problem kid,
a delinquent,

nor am i a slut,
those cheap bitches you see everywhere these days.

i dont need any more lower morale,
nor do i need you flinging your accusing fingers in my face.

i have enough problems alr.

toot.
i should be able to handle these crap.
but im not hardcore enough,
i will never be hardcore either.

shall stick to misery and company,
shall stick to deception.

shall stick to everything but reality.

swing swing ;
10:28 PM;

*screams*
D:

hahah, ohwell i think i have a whole hell lot to do by tmr morning 8 o clock.
things like a kinda half complete bio assignment,
a completely empty math tutorial 2c,
and a somewhat half completed chem prac 7A
tell me if thr's more?

and not to mention the things i have to read up on,
the gp articles that i have to find and do,
and the many creative writing i've kinda regretted having to do.
(because i cant for hell's sake come up with nice plots)

and again,
tell me if thr's more? ._.

a rather adorable snoopy and a little bear is on my bed.
may i have the permission to squeal? ^^

i shall.. sigh.
do tht certain bio assignment i dread doing.

**

sweet sweet nothings <3

swing swing ;
10:21 PM;