bloody eyes.
they just dont like me.
maybe they dont belong to me,
i had some kind of eye transplant when i was younger and my memory of the surgery somehow lost.

i just cant seem to stay awake luh,

**

so fear's what's stopping me.

i've never in my life thought fear existed,
real fear.

now that i do,
it's kinda scary.

fear.

**

gna face it someday,
i just dont wna bother with it now.
too tired,
drained of energy.

ahwells.
nights,
it's gna be 9 soon,
&i need some sleep.

swing swing ;
8:37 PM;

a promise of love,
once lost,
never returns-

**

another frenzied week passed by,

any shooting stars tonight?
have got to make a wish,
else hopes and dreams would vanish,

leaving me in a barren world.

**

no future ahead, eh.

more like,
a cruel twist of fate.

**

worked on chemical powered car today,
and also wanted to work on cid,
cant do in the end anw,

loads of nice movies coming up,
or alr up.
too bad cant watch.

**

i'd had you by my side,
with that motivation,
i can push myself further.

so comeon,
i shouldn't be intimidated by the pressure you put up,
i should be strong,

to prove to myself, or external factors,
that i am

not weak.

**

i want to remain behind the scenes,

i dont want to appear when i dont have to,
to stand out.
because i know i suck. i dont need so much attention.
dont push me in front, you two.

it creates alot of negative impacts.

and im hating every moment of it.

**

so,

let the fire burn on.

swing swing ;
5:02 PM;

it's been a nonetheless fine day with blue clouds in the sky and fine time to watch them go by.

right.

swing swing ;
5:49 PM;

harsh?
that was BEYOND harsh.

**

my eyes can talk.
they're saying right now,
that it's unfair that they always suffer the most.
ohman, no use complaining to me..

**

oh &then here's my utmost sincerity in trying to help confidence find its way back to y'all.
and y'all better help yourselves too.

im gna try eat more during recess tmr and skip my lunch,
then i can finally repair my instru and help out for the sec1s instrus.
hope tmr dont have any work to chiong lol,

**

it's getting to be a little of a burden,
knowing i've said too much,
and knowing you wont like the one inside.
so you still dont get it?

im a little wrecked these days,
with my eyes and everything,
and my constant OHNO im distracted but i wna chiong mentality.

yes, it's back. first time i admit it for this year, that's all.
but it happened since week4,
&you tell me one month is long.

besides,
im happy that i can do well here and there,
and then flunk anywhere else (THAT, im not happy.)

**

wasn't very happy with what you said,
maybe you should take it back.

you never know,
i might be offended someday.

**

choose to stand silently in a corner awaiting the arrival of utter emptiness.
and when it comes,
and when everyone is gone,
i'd tear it all out and allow myself to fall in.
only then can i embrace that emptiness.

**

i swear,
im not being emo,

just being a normal teen with a slight extreme like for drama and darkness.

swing swing ;
9:09 PM;

i never knew the true meaning of restless until this moment.
&it aint nice.

**

tmr's
test.
i mean,
tests.

like,
how incredibly
BORING.

like,
how incredibly
SUCKY.

like,
how incredibly
RAWRRR~~~

okay, you get my point,
i shall stop it.

**

neeways,
weekends were pretty packed.

with sat doing cip paperwork,
reached at 9 although i thought i would be late,
btw,
this bus driver scam me and told me it would take 45minutes for the bus trip when it took only bout 20minutes.
._.
your estimation abit suck ar, bus driver. xD
waited for serming (puddinggirl lol) for 30minutes with jiayi,
spent listening to deathnote's plot,
and found it pretty disturbing LOL.

the whole cip was cool la,
the room,
the photocopy cum fax cum scanner cum printer cum blahblahblah machine.
:D
it's so useful!
it's built to be useful,
and so it's in a way more superior than humans cus we humans have to MUG and WORK before we get to be useful.
that's kinda sucky isn't it?
EH WAIT,
no digress.
erm,

in the end i was in charge of the comp,
serming in charge of the filtering of info (HAHA) and the shredding of paper (ANOTHER HAHA),
and jiayi was in charge of the machine!

we laughed alot btw.

the whole thing comes down to one point,
i laugh like a seal.
._.

jiayi likes flying tissue btw.

**

there's sunday too!
which is today.
went emotionless, all the way to jurong, then to constance's house.
sigh- am i sian or am i sian?
lols, digress.
the chem was cool. i like it :D
oh and constance actually WORE A SKIRT o.o

went to tiong!
jiayi made it 1hour early, to make up for latecomers.
i din know that though, guess im too blur.
ahwells, ruijie wore a very AA red cap and pink shirt. and was the earliest.
(i wont say o.o )

bought a burger yums-

mrteo's house quite far from tiong plaze eh? xD
hahah, maybe it's cuz we din walk straight la,
keep turning here turning there,
when i went back to tiong plaza it was quite near leh, i thought i lost my way for awhile though.

haha his house quite cool la,
the class separated into three different groups.
all play cards ._.

one play bridge,
one play slapjack or daidee
one play daidee

oh and one watch teevee AHAHA.
lol, du xia again.

i like keychain cubes :D
but i alr have my bigbig not so cute cube alr,
ahwells.

went home after a last game of slapjack,
no wait,
slap-smth else.
cant remember what.
it's ANYTHING but jack.
and i was distracted.

big pile of cards in my hands in the end of course.
left pretty unhappily.

(have i ever mentioned how chio she is? mrteo have good taste HAHAHA xD )

swing swing ;
9:07 PM;

break away ;

**

slowly,
it's unbearable.

many stuff happening,
it's like i cant even breathe.

**

arrr,
please just go away. D:

**

sec1s.
only recognise one i chose during cca trials.
hope she makes a great junior :D

confidence la~
dont lack that simple quality yeah.
that is the basis of being a player in band.
without it, even if you can play well,
you fail as a player.

and what's more,
is that you people CAN play well.

trust yourself,
have faith.

**

since crunchyroll is so sucky,
i watch on youtube,
since youtube is so sucky,
i watch on veoh.
(wait, i din try veoh. havent.)
but then again,
i no mood to continue watching devil beside you le TT
just roughly know what happen,
and stuff like that.

christmas gloves and dangerous siblings LOL.

sweet,

swing swing ;
12:59 PM;

broke a few rules in the duration of less than a minute,
YOU GO GIRL,

i was holding it back,
din have enough practice i guess.

**

anw,
today wasn't a very pleasant day,
was once again disgusted by how things are happening.

this world is a stranger to me now.

swing swing ;
9:00 PM;

another day,
another load of things to do and say.

**

it's song mania LOL.
hanging by a moment by lifehouse (should be :/ )
is nice : D
a long time ago song, heard it loads of times before,
just hadn't known the lyrics,
and now that i knw the lyrics,
i find them nice : D

hmm,
facebook's a little..
boring.
i cant help but feel frustrated over the STILL messy state of my profile.
yet i dont really bother to really make the effort to reorganise it.
sian.

these few days are passing pretty slowly.
only got a few red packets here and there,
):

**

btw, i still find the kid annoying,
cant help it.
i've lost my interest for little kids since a long time ago,

woke up this morning feeling a little RAWRRR anw.

swing swing ;
9:59 AM;

sour grapes arrr!

**

i was damn offended then, but decided to let go.
thought you were just immature, and so give you time to grow up before i confront you again,
guess that was a wrong step eh?

hah, like hey,
go check up "ugly" in the dict.
you'll be surprised.

like gosh,
i cant believe you.

the next time i see you i better have the determination to kick your ass before i turn into the kind girl i am and decide to give you face and another chance you dont freaking deserve.
stop being so sour yeah? it doesn't get you anywhere,
asshole.

swing swing ;
5:20 PM;

staring at her best friend with another girl,
wondering why it hurts so much.

**

teardrops on my guitar,

sorry im slow, but yeah,
i got hooked on this song only today,
when i heard of it since last month ._.

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see,
That I want and I'm needing, everything that we should be,
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about,
And she's got ev'rything that I have to live without...

Drew talks to me, I laugh 'cause it's so damn funny,
But I can't even see anyone when he's with me,
He says he's so in love, he's fin'lly got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night...

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only thing that keeps me wishin' on a wishin' star,
He's the song in the car I keep singin', don't know why I do...

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly, The kind of flawless I wish I could be,
She better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause...

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only thing that keeps me wishin' on a wishin' star,
He's the song in the car I keep singin', don't know why I do...

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light,
I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight...

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart,
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do...
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough,
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see...

**

wonderful song,

haha well im just suspecting that drew is her best friend,
well, why else will the music video show that drew intended to tell her all about this girl he's so in love with?
harsh.

oh and have i mentioned that taylor swift (the singer)
is super chio?
LOL.

**

saw on the news last night,
smth bout the sale of hamsters going way up,
said it was because of the year of the rat,
and this woman was saying how they bought a hamster to bring goodluck,

._.
guess what my mom said,

"year of the rat buy rat, year of the pig buy pig ar?"

roflmao,
the house was totally filled with my laughter i swear.

**

btw, i have decided chinatown's a crazy place,
and this sort of seafood restaurant we ate at for dinner has a really evil purpose :
to scam money.

WTH, what we ate was a three person meal, &it costed $70++ i think.
the coke and sprite! there were 4 in total,
one costed 3.80 if im not wrong,
*screams*
if that's not called scam, i dont know what scam is anym.

chinatown eh?
this is more interesting,

WELL,
rap to have your stuff sold,
they were selling muachee, those type that are like,
wrapped up and stuff, like candy and tidbits?
yeah,
and this uncle was selling plastic bags to hold those muachee,
(so it depends on how much you stuff in that stupid plastic bag for how much your $3 is worth, one bag costs $3 you see)
saw all these aunties starting to "try" a few, then throw the wrappers on the ground,
o.o

TO HELL WITH CIVILISED PEOPLE! XD
(oops, now you know exactly how singaporeans can be like. XD )

well, our bag was filled, and when i mean filled, i mean filled.
xD

while my mom and maid was busy collecting all types of muachee to fill the bag,
the uncle was rapping away like i said,

sentences ended with,
三块,
纸带,
等待,
期待,
优待,

smth that goes like this,

来，三块三块
来买纸带，
给我三块，
别让我等待，
smth 期待，
这是我老板给你们的优待！

well, if that aint crap, i aint know the meaning of crap eh?
and i had to listen to this crap repeat itself for the period my mom and maid was snatching muachee ._.
imagine the dudiaoed face i had, alright?

the scene wasn't pretty i swear.

**

chinese new year's crazy.
i just had the pleasant luck of not spending it with them,
not going hysterics is just what i need for this festive season :]

well, not cursing myself,
but i seriously hope they aint going to come until june hols yeah? which is impossible.

swing swing ;
8:47 PM;

immunity,

to survive.

**

haha,
this is weird,
but i actually plan on writing my new year resolutions now.

in a way, it's still a new year right?
why else would it be called chinese new year?
LOL.

so here goes,

i wanna be immune.
to what?
that's for me to know,
and for you to find out.

tata :]

swing swing ;
6:01 PM;

different views,
different opinions,
all of those differences
bring everyone apart.

**

it was a rather disturbing day today.
the initial happiness and shock came from seeing the A grade for class cleanliness on our classroom door,
although i found out ytd and not this morning,
like most people,

and then the horror and shock that came from an unusual tension in 4i.

his face was not the one we see everyday,
the cheerful happygolucky math teacher that we knew since the beginning of last year,
but a thunderous one,
i couldn't understand how one could become like that
until i heard what he had to say.

i guess upset is the right word.
he was upset,

and this issue had raised many other issues.

thought about it,
went emo about it,
almost screwed my brains just because of it,
and went to band with not a very nice mood because of it,

life just keeps throwing lemons at you i guess.
those stupid questions and concerns that you have to fill your brain with.

i dont want to think anym.

swing swing ;
9:41 PM;