♪ cant trust you, ;

Saturday, February 28, 2009

hot and cold.
it's raining, yet im sweating.

and my windows are open btw ._.
got wind de..

hot and cold,
because the flame has died down,
we have run out of oxygen,

when distractions come,
you leave things here, undone.

ah sai.
what happened to my high?

naaaaaaaaaa;
too much of the same music again and again,
listen until sian.

ahhh so cute :D
my father brought back a little bear keychain.

i think i've officially gone insane.
i shall squeal for a bear LOL.

swing swing ;
11:31 PM;

good,
im pretty much ignoring the disturbing thoughts in my mind,
and half struggling to keep up my good mood.

am pretty proud of myself.
i hope i'll do veng's and my second common qad proud (:

the chloroplast/ribosome's pretty much healed.
so watch out, the self-congratulatory post is coming soon! :D

ahah, and as much as i wna have an excuse to shua3 cool and wear sunglasses,
i know i'll most probably bang into a pillar after less than a minute.

and that'd be really sad D:

swing swing ;
5:31 PM;

you, my dear girl,
are messed up.

DAMN. i would like very badly to hit my brain so that it's working again.
tell me, how can (25/2) x 2 be 50?!

&i was still killing many of my brain cells firmly believing that,
1:25/2 = 2:50

what happened to my math? i guess gch was right when she said our math sucks LOL.

and i happen to be really distracted by the blood stained pus that's coming out.
blood stained.
wttoot sia.

i swear, i need to clear my brain a little.

swing swing ;
10:46 AM;

Friday, February 27, 2009

it's been pretty long since the last time i had ice cream :/
cant say i didn't miss the numbing feeling,

but i had grown tired of ice cream for a reason.

(if only i could remember what that reason was xD)

**

trivial games such as spot the difference are definitely fun,
but,
they're trivial.
so, being rational and mature,
i played for only an hour.

xD
kidding la.
it only lasted for less than 5 minutes,
and maturity is overrated, anyw.

... dots.
&i thought my eyelid infection aint gna bring me anym trouble,
so i've skipped a few lessons,
skipped a test,
and i have a feeling the accumulating hmwk aint gna be pleasant.

**

haven't even finished the darn icecream.
wonder why i dont feel like finishing it :/
have i rly turned into a freak that hates sugar and icecream?!
gods, i hope not.
i need these typical girl necessities to get over my teen girl days.

TT stupid infection, go away soon..
(i dont like the doctor much nia..)

swing swing ;
9:17 PM;

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

once again,
i curse my eye.

roars at my left eye.
ROARS AND ROARS.
O.o i've gone mad.

and anw, i cant roar.
i rawr.
im a rawring ant.
._.

see the influence haiwei has over me. tsk sia.

"you'll always be my ANT." (:

swing swing ;
9:46 PM;

was in a bad mood.
(the reason is pretty obvious. i cant rly see clearly yknw.)

UNTIL..

.. vengyi told me about qads and lcf.

SUPPORTS LCF!
xD

i shall retell the story to huili so that she knows that calling me lcf is actually a good thing xD

btw,
i pei fu vengyi's first qad.
._.

*claps hands, i mean, feelers*

swing swing ;
8:57 PM;

im so sad right now.
am a frigging mess.

i hope everything goes well,
if it doesn't,
im gna spiral down into depression.

eye sucks,
when it recovers,
i'll be more grateful that i have a normal eye.

of all things to be grateful for,
im grateful for my eye.
so hmm,
thr's my sight too.
i must be grateful for that.
cus i cant and will never imagine myself blind.
><

so watch out,
i'd bet thr will be a self-congratulatory post sometime soon.
for the regaining of a pretty left eye.
(pretty as in normal. my eyes are in no way pretty. hell, im an ugly person D:)

naaaa;
i thank everyone who wished me a fast recovery (:
for your concern,
and whatever.
im glad :D

now i shall be off to rub some cream on my wound.
hopefully i wont scream too loud.

swing swing ;
5:59 PM;

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

after some ridiculous laughter,

i said:
i found it amusingly amusing,

... so amusing that im starting to lack in the vocabulary department.

**

rofl,
the terms opportunity cost and allocative/productive efficiency are so stuck in my head,
im linking everything to them.

stupid economics. i think im gna go insane from all this rubbish xD

"demand of carrots go down. new determinant of demand: JENNIE'S OPINION!"

wooo yes i've reached jupiter.
with my sanity, sadly, not intact.

**

swollen eye,
needless to say, hurts much.
D:

im pretty sad. am prepared to go mad during this weekend because finally the tests are over.
but my eye..
MY EYE..
._.

sigh.

swing swing ;
8:02 PM;

Monday, February 23, 2009

*stares at bloody hands*
omg o.o
what have i done?!

**

LOL. nahhh, in case you freaked out,
im here to assure you noone was killed in the making of this post.
._.

**

i cant and wont bring myself to condemn chem,
because all the practice has really been doing me good.
my confidence in chem pracs (and hence, all practicals, even bio ones) is improving much much more.
it feels like im starting from square 1,
but if you wna bring in the harsh facts, i dont rly have time to climb from square 1..
but often, i can hear myself grumble about the questions.
i find myself doing her work every single damn day.
too much to do.

**

yet im being an ass to myself.
im sure im pushing myself down.
and it pretty much sucks because i cant help it.

**

oh and please,
just please dont ever stop.
cus the music keeps playing,
the alcohol's passing,
the heads are spinning,

and in the midst of chaos,
it wouldn't feel right for quiet,
for silence,
for peace.

swing swing ;
9:27 PM;

Saturday, February 21, 2009

it's the starting of another bloody day.

oh.
bloody sunday.
ahah.

._.

swing swing ;
11:59 PM;

Have; So I'm in bliss-

I'm glad to have you as my friend (:

**

So pretentious,
but I've gotta keep my emotions to myself.

swing swing ;
11:38 PM;

putting mouthful after mouthful of food in my mouth,
gorging myself,
almost to the point of choking,
then gobbling them down so that my stomach receives rare treatment,

is rather satisfying.

it certainly did help put out the fire caused by rage.

**

i think im mad.

swing swing ;
10:52 AM;

Friday, February 20, 2009

imma happy girl today,

think i missed these times,
when we would all high tgt at the schl bus stop.

so anw, im lcf, and vengyi is his/my daughter, zhiyi is his/my son, and liang is his/my HUSBAND,
(because he's.. err.. gay?)
and chua shall be his brother! xD

tsk man. stupid relations :D

**

wahhh, happy birthday worrr.
so big le.
when im with the juniors i feel big :D
when im with people like you, i feel small ._.

woooooooo,

high liao high liao.

**

haha so me haiwei mingshin and desmond went to the.. place nearby schl to have lunch.
must say it was terrible.
we cracked jokes,
lame ones,
racist ones,
sick ones,

and i condemn lumpy for telling me that hair joke.
my world is constantly in negative degrees celsius because of that joke.

and it isn't even funny. rawr.
(i just love people's reactions to it :D)

swing swing ;
10:35 PM;

Thursday, February 19, 2009

i think im this idiot.
this idiot with eyebags and weird hair.

this idiot who's chionging hmwk and stupidly slacking at the same time.

damn my eyes.

swing swing ;
9:42 PM;

tired;
it's been what everyone has been saying these couple of days.

so tell me,
how is this fair?
*grumbles like it's noone's business*

ohwell. complain also no use.

see, that's mature thinking :D

**

im starting to go mad again.
drawing stupid things.
like a weird person with panda eyes made up of simple shapes,
and today i drew smth that shixian said looks like joker.
and then, when i added in the hair,
she says it looks toot, like the joker last time still small small toot toot that kind.
i laughed till the chair vibrated.
shall name it toot joker.

**

i don't wanna know,
if you're playing me, keep it on the low,
cus my heart can't take it anymore,
and if you're creeping, please don't let it show,
oh baby, i don't wanna know.
- i don't wanna know by mario winans

I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never wants to be alone
I don't wanna be that call at 4 o'clock in the morning
'Cos I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home

Aahh the sun is blinding
I stayed up again
Oohh, I am finding
That's not the way I want my story to end

I'm safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain
Inside
You're like protection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence
The quiet scares me cause it screams the truth
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation
I won't remember, save your breath, 'cos what's the use?

Aahh, the night is calling?
And it whispers to me softly come and play
But I, I am falling
And If I let myself go I'm the only one to blame

I'm coming down, coming down, coming down
Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round
Looking for myself - SOBER

When it's good, then it's good, it's so good till it goes bad
Till you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry, never again
Broken down in agony just tryna find a fit

Will I ever feel this good sober?
Tell me, No no no no no pain
How do I feel this good sober?

- sober by pink

**

So really,
would you like to dance with me?

swing swing ;
7:29 PM;

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

omg this are all the replies for the tags.
i think i suck xD i havent been replying for darn long.
sorry people!

SM - what ww3, i confused xD aiyoh, both are keesiao :/
tralala - hahah! i refuse to do it humph! xD
haiwei - bleahhh i din do it! and my tong2 ban4 never come!
tralala - stupid omnomnom ._.
elf - yes i totally agree.
jiayi - hahah! yupps 4i rocks (:
tralala - waves back! xD
daughter - HAHAHA alright! although i alr know who they are ._.
huiyuan - i refuse to do it! xDDD
haiwei - ... chicken, you suck D:
tralala - stupid huili and your hennie comments ><
zoenin - ZOENIN!
jiayi - i also bored sia. which is why im replying to y'all now ._.
Evan - yea. go canteen buy la. that one can eat xD
beishan - hello! :D
Evan - eee gogo canteen!
haiwei - yupps LOL.
BlaZe - omg you should rephrase xD hahah, dont you call me genie anym D:
genie - no it's not what you think. and what's with you using nanana ._. that's my trademark random statement.
tralala - happy very belated cny! xD
Evan - tsk! call me jelly one more time i ask you go buy jelly for me in the canteen.
haiwei - o.o i dont papeepoo haiwei D:
jiayi - hahah you dont even know what other note i have xD
tralala - yum xD
BlaZe - yay zazaza :D
genie - thanks wor! people like to ruin mood sia :D
tralala - hahah i aint sick xD using hot temperature as metaphor xD
Evan - that's it. you're gna buy jelly for me someday.
jiayi - are you serious?! i hate titrations xD lect can slack lo.
haiwei - omg the word "duh" is banned! dont use it! SHE uses it xD
kelly - hello kelly! :D
daughter - hahah! she likes me wooo :D
BlaZe - yupps :D nicest song ever :D
ken - hello LOL.
BlaZe - alright will send you ahah
sofia - i miss you too! D: happy belated vday~
chair - apparently im too obsessed with maths xD happy belated vday to you too!
ken - hello :D what's with that face ._.
papa's daughter - hahah dont want la >< very obvious we stalker sia xD
ken - thanks! wah! you too wor~
daughter - yea lo.. i want the nice one D: and you ar! must censor! omg xD rofl

heh.

swing swing ;
7:29 PM;

cons: time, is like an eraser.
I NEVER COULD FIND EITHER ._.

i swear, that girl cracks me up.
she actually pointed to her bruise and said,
"omg how could you appear?!"

im gna miss that girl's sarcasm/cynicism/retarded remarks. TT

**

so,
good day, i guess.

but i came to a main conclusion today.
this is a very important discovery for me, so please respect it.

biology, and erhem (smth that starts with a arr and ends with a vee)
are associated with straws and lollipops,
the same way DNA molecules in eukaryotic cells are associated with histone proteins.

HAH. so i did remember that part of my bio notes after all.

diagrams in bio tests rock,
schl admin rocks too.

wonder what will pebble.

**

naaaaaaaaaaaa;
good day indeed.

swing swing ;
6:59 PM;

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

tsk.
have you any idea how stupid i feel staring at the twilight calandar on my bedroom wall right now?

and yes, people like huili went O.O when i told them i bought a fan-based calandar.

i shall cry because i hadn't even said a proper goodbye to the 25+ bucks i spent D:

(but! it's just that the opportunity cost is quite great now that i think about it okay! if it had been cheaper, i wouldn't regret :D)

im still in love with jasperhale :D

**

so im stupidly wasting my time.
hmm, there are a few more hours left.

SING BAA BAA BLACK SHEEP.
sheeps apparently make me go nuts.
so do lady gaga's songs,
and GP tchrs.

let us dance till dawn ;

swing swing ;
7:36 PM;

Monday, February 16, 2009

guess what. i shall delete this post and start a new one.

or simply change the content altogether.

**

plan a:
actually listen to lectures and follow and be attentive.
TRY to read notes before lectures.

plan b:
heck lectures. spend your time in other necessary work for EXAMS
(not hmwk)

plan c:
curl up in a ball and cries,
eventually drowning in your tears

**

err,
if i ever thought secondary schl life was difficult,
i've obviously not experienced *erhem* jc life,
and i hadn't!

and so, if i ever thought jc life was difficult,
obviously i havent experienced uni life.

wow, this whole shit has got me all depressed.

(&i bet i havent even started on anything stress-inducing yet)

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA;

**

plan d:
invents a way to stop time,
mug till eternity,
starts time,
does exams.

and if by then, i still dont score As,
it'd definitely be a ultra good reason to shoot myself dead.

(OH! and i'd doubt my IQ too!)

swing swing ;
7:59 PM;

Sunday, February 15, 2009

We got it spinning,

Hope it's till eternity.

**

Wooo, what a boring lazy Sunday.

I think I need to apologise to Haiwei many many.
Just because I felt too sian to go to Bugis from NUS on her birthday. I think I suck ><

Heh, but me bought you present while I was outside!

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaa-

**

Still feels sian.
Grahhhhhhhhhh,

swing swing ;
11:09 AM;

Friday, February 13, 2009

wished you a happy vday,
my black eyebags.

wished you a happy vday,
my homework.
(the assymptote of the graph for amount of hmwk seems to be zero. it will NEVER reach zero. how sad D:)

wished you a happy vday,
my fatigue.
all from the tiring week.

wished you a happy vday,
my poor health.
cus i need to maintain my strength and courage to strive on.

wished you a happy vday,
my tests.
and im hoping fervently i wont flunk them all.

wished you a happy vday,
because that's what i mean,
all good things happen,

on a special day like this.

swing swing ;
10:08 PM;

Thursday, February 12, 2009

that, i cant ignore.
enough okay.

damn you.

you're mad sia.

zzz.
cant believe i was actually trembling from rage.

swing swing ;
10:50 PM;

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

am rather worried about my current temporary lack of sanity.
wonder when im gna combust.

yea, apparently i just love to combust.
lol. err, it might produce soot, since it's incomplete combustion or smth.

whatever. chemistry is my weakest science.
(so far.)

**

am too busy nowadays to update my fav song list.
i swear, once it's game over, im gna do a few things.

have all nice songs transferred into mp4,
read all the fanfics i want,
...

on second thoughts,
i dont think i'll ever be free.

tsk. how depressing.
D:

**

cus baby,
each time it cuts me deeper when you leave-

swing swing ;
8:45 PM;

Friday, February 6, 2009

Today feels strangely refreshing.
A constant feeling of anticipation.
The time seems to pass by quicker than it did.

Today marks freedom.
And emptiness.

Cheers.

**

Jae hee is my new love XD
he's seriously too cute.

aww,

**

i cant help but feel this sense of accomplishment.
because i finally, FINALLY, think that i can actually play.

it's this motivation that shall keep me enthusiastic ;D

gna find some romance novels and torture myself with them by keeping them somewhere so that i get a whole load of wonderful books to indulge in when i get self deserved breaks.
first on the list : sarra manning's books

wheee,
havent felt this great for so long.

**

& the planets all align,
when you look into my eyes-

swing swing ;
10:27 PM;

Thursday, February 5, 2009

only love <3

imma happy girl (:

swing swing ;
9:27 PM;

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

i need people to shut the toot up.
it's too noisy.
so very noisy.
i cant even plug smth into my ear to stop the noise.

ignorance : losing all our five senses.

i'd be glad if we were provided the SELECTIVE use of our five senses, though.
to lose them all would be just too sad.
the ability to be aware of everything around us is needed.

**

clearly i'd just have to wait 2 more days.
2 more painful ones,

it's just a waiting game..

i need my health restored,
i need my competency recharged,
i need my relief returned.

and boy,
i wont be surprised if i lost another few kilos just being the way i am now.
stress makes me eat less, yet makes me burn more.

hammer please,
i wna drop dead D:

**

on the bright side,
i had managed to remain, in my context, cheerful.
the stress dont come so much from studies,
i should have known.

**

jump-shots are loves ;D

swing swing ;
8:13 PM;

Monday, February 2, 2009

bloody hell.

Caught up with the Monday Blues:
Life sucks D:

**

apparently, the process of rinsing apparatus with water, deionised water, and solutions,
is to me, equivalent to putting fire in your mouth and breathing it out.
a circus act, im sure.

i curse my brain for being the furry little thing it is.
yes. furry.
it's bloody furry.
why else cant i remember simple steps.

or instructions for that matter.

chem still rocks though.
even though i feel like im stepping into a minefield every second im in her lesson,
i think i might actually learn smth this year.
must be under the influence of vengyi. which is good. i cant afford to condemn another tchr ><

bio on the other hand is sucko.
i miss lwf. rly rly. lwf is the best.
did you even SEE my bio grades?!
i swear i do NOT regurtitate info i memorise.
i do NOT memorise in the first place.
which makes my As for bio all the more dubious.

but i love lwf cus she was a great motivator.
adding her to my list of best tchrs of all times.
so far have four tchrs on that list (:

llc,
ow,
phee,
lwf.

but for now,
ahaha. i shall not say anything :X
or perhaps,
IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME.
i have a problem with your teaching style.
i just cant learn that way.
but i understand you cant change your teaching style to suit me,
neither can you change your teaching style because im not your only student.
i suck D:
please forgive me D:

the bloody toot.

i need to stay calm though.
so many things, and yet i manage to not emo through some of them.
im constantly worrying myself, im constantly pushing myself,
and then again,
i shouldn't put myself under so much stress.

because in the long run,
all i do, is suffer.

swing swing ;
9:07 PM;

Sunday, February 1, 2009

dance tracks ;D
they calm down my frantic heart.

one way,
just one straight way to your heart.

no complications.

swing swing ;
3:19 PM;