Me and my inner self is, like, having a moment.
(Not THAT type of moment. Lol. That'd be just really screwed up.)

Like I said in my previous post, I'm in the reflective stage these days.
Wonder if I'd grow up to be like those sophisticated chicks smoking a cig sitting outside those French cafes talking about philosophy or life. Or both.
Perhaps not. I'd probably end up the type of gal who's so skinny and so attitude-ridden she should go join the people in the Third World Countries in their never-ending trauma. The type that said sophisticated chicks point and laugh at.
Why am I tempting fate again?

Ah, now I'm just talking gibberish.

Anyway, I'm, like, living in a world of 'duh', because a bunch of question marks have just assaulted my poor little head with the impact of a ton of bricks.
And let me tell you, that'd hurt like a bitch.
Cue the ouch. Cus I'm so melodramatic.

I wanna glitter and shine on a stage. But my self destructive tendencies just won't stop being what they're good at - blocking my damned way.
Now my new way is to deal with them.
Not easy, I'd assure you. Because they tend to hypnotise too, especially right after any sign of rebellious behaviour.
I've tried to send in an army, fit for battle, and that had failed because hypnotism rules.

Or maybe I'm just too weak-willed to stop being stupid.

Everyone seems to have stop believing in me, which is making my inner demon very very happy. And my small ego very very small.
Now that next year is the crucial year, y'knw, the BIG SCARY RAWRRR A's,
(Sheesh of course it's on my mind. It has only been on my mind ever since a gazillion years ago.)
and now that I'm meant to be all I'M PRETTY AND I HAVE MY SWORD READY TO FIGHT because I've turned seventeen,
the expectations are as heavy as abovementioned ton of bricks. Maybe even heavier.
Yes, let me die, me and all my jewellery I've protected all these years because I'm a bimbo.

Just looking at my math notes made me wonky.
I'm sure you could tell by now.

I'm still not making any effort to revise my bunny story (uhm, it's technically your story, sorry, but your character was a bear. mine's a bunny XD)
and I'm not gonna lie, but that story was constructed on straws and sticks, and then the wolf huffs and puffs and you know what happens next.
And I don't even wanna try to weave a story using bricks, because, hello~ Bricks have hit me at least twice in the duration of this sad post and it is now my enemy.
I want it better than bricks. Something strong, something.. something like..
Ooh.. Banana! Bananas are like my favourite fruit sometimes. Even though I've eaten less than a hundred all my life I think. ><
Lol. See, I'm all distracted. I think that says something about my self destructive tendencies. When they come out, they come out strong. That's kinda good and bad at the same time. Good because it's really a plus if you can call something bad good.

Pig stew..
(No, not my new cuss phrase. But pretty close.)

Grace and Vaughn. Because after you've read one good novel, you're blogging about the hero and heroine soon after.
It's the same I'd-flirt-a-hell-lot-if-I'm-drunk type of girl Sarra Manning seems to have all over the place. She can scream cheap whore sometimes, too. But then you blink and you find the girl actually pretty sweet and likeable. As for the guy, it's so Sarra typical! I'm pushing and I'm pulling, but I'm not gonna let you die so you have no choice but to endure my torturous ways muahaha. Vaughn is that type of guy.
(Large age gap, really? =O)

I like push and pull guys. Hahah. I think they make my life seem less miserable. Lol. These books make me read on and on until I can't take it. (Seriously, I'M GONNA BUY THOSE DAMN DIARY OF A CRUSH BOOKS WHEN IT'S WELL PAST THE SAFE STAGE. THE PRETTY COVERS HAD TO BE THE ONES THAT ARE ANYTHING BUT INNOCENT. I'M ALL ABOUT THE PRETTY COVERS. JIAYI KNOWS CUS I'M INSISTING ON PRETTY COVER GLITTER BABY ALL YEAR LONG.)

WHAAA? OH, STOP USING CAPS LOCK?
HAHA! OKAY!

There you go.

Tsk, it's December tomorrow! What the ...
Manga still tempts me you know.

I'd go cut my nails because it breaks every two days or so and it's getting irritating (and sometimes, really really painful).
See I'm all about being the good girl.

I've got a wish list up already. Maybe I shall put it up soon, then I can pester myself to pester someone else to buy them for me :D

Happy happy girl.

swing swing ;
4:41 PM;

Haiwei's a sweetheart. I love you for your sms. It's the one that came punctually and made me smile a lot. I'm really happy you bothered :D
And so is Gohjiayi. She asked our closest friends out and we had dinner and they bought seventeen donuts. (Yes, sugar rush. Don't ask. XD) But it was one of the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Literally. Depends on how you look at it I s'pose. (Anna, Consie, Huiyuan, Jiayi, Zhengyang.)
Songhua too, for the card. I don't receive cards often, and those that I did, I'd appreciate it a lot. Orange wool was amusing. I love it.

There were others who wished me too.
My klarinutz family, plus Heling. <3
Junyi, who I seem to be owing more and more. (Put up with my personality swings, my angst, my failures, etc. He deserves a shoutout at least.)
Some of the best pschl mates you can ever have (esp Yinwei. I'm real glad we hadn't seem to lose our friendship over the past few years. Proves Facebook has some redeeming qualities after all :D)
Wenhui and gim, they came at exactly the same time. XD
Consie Leong, Serming from the 4i clique ((:
Mingshin and Junxiang, too. Was kind of surprised, though. Cus they don't seem like the type who'd bother, do they?

And there are a few others here and there too. I owe you a big thank you for making an originally normal day a better one.

**

Now, back to the angst.
Emo's the new groove these days, it's what I've been feeling all day long.
Kinda like in a reflective stage, I think the storywriting camp is getting to me. I'm imagining many different characters, and you know, writers don't exactly come up with the happiest characters, do they?
I dream of angsting ones. The internal struggle, the neverending battle.
And, oh. The pessimism.

Right then I was a bunny trying to escape reality.
I remember being shunned, I remember condemnation. Then I found someone, snuggled in the temporary comfort like the fluffy white I am, and the moment I doubt,
I ran.
Like I said, angst.
(Thank you Junyi for letting me use the story rofl.)

Then there was contemporary epic, which I just wasn't used to writing. The guys wrote about violence and gore, and that's just what they needed to spur things on. Me? I wrote about awkward plotting half-mature people trying to make up for mistakes others around them made. Result? You get a evil yet not-quite-evil character as your villain. I can't even begin to imagine how I would make my hero look like.
Voo. Rofl.

Jiayi and I had a blast. She likes the stairwell, while I like to fidget. I'm a demanding writer, but I don't write on demand. And I write the most ambiguous of things.
Our girl was annoying. We rushed straight out of there the moment it was over. She's a great girl, she really is. Just rein in the chatter, the whining, the over-enthusiasm we don't really get, and you'd do fine.
Toilet trips were frequent, because stupid ol' me thought I could drag Jiayi and Jiayi ONLY for some alone time. The third wheel wasn't welcome lolol.
KFC, Mac, Hawker, KFC. We should be careful of all that oil. (Lol, yea, fats are unhealthy. Even if I'm all bones and in serious need of some more.. uhm, meat.)

**

Should have bought Unsticky. When will I ever learn?
Ahwell, so now I've gone and wasted money again.
I understand the true meaning of Don't Judge A Book By Its (Damn) Cover, now.
Hopefully, the meaning'd strike me the next time I drool in Borders/Kinokuniya.

swing swing ;
11:54 PM;

Can't blog from my phone. Which is a sad sad thing. Because, well, when you have something, you're wishing for something more.

Cbb anymore.
(Stands for Couldn't Be Bothered by the way. The amount of expletives in my vocabulary stopped growing a long time ago.)

A perpetual bad mood.
But only I can determine what I'm feeling, right.
Hah, masked villains..

Tropes. Pulling me down if I'm gonna subconsciously put them into my writing.
But we learnt it for a reason, right.

I'm gonna make friends with that friendly girl in my group.
She's from band too, trombone.
Hah, great Mentos to keep me awake from mindless droning on about reading clubs.
(I read enough, thank you very much.)
Wouldn't mind other genre than romanc.. I mean, love related, because, hey, I'm Jennaye Yip and I'm open-minded like that.
Right..

That room gave me a sense of dread.
I may be one of the oldest, but hell, these people are smart and quirky and sarcastic and..
.. God. I never thought..
Sigh, I guess I do have to solve that problem of the lack of interaction between my brain and my mouth.
When it's time to speak, and I'm under pressure, both The Brain and The Mouth break down.
(I'm actually pretty smart. Once you give me the time to sit down and write. Which I doubt you would do.)

That sexual comic was so WHAAA?
I mean, hell, I don't dig captions.
Writing on demand, that's even worse.

The road less travelled?
Me. The retard. This road is located in the world of normal people,
and I'm sorta in between. Normal VS Retard. See the relationship?
Or or or! I could always do an action one. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiii YA! And maybe a Bang! And then next thing I know, I end up in jail. For murder. What? It is a road less travelled, right?
It's rather common though.

I've lost you,
Lost myself too.
My meaningless rant. This isn't a blog anymore. This is..
.. I don't know what the hell this is.

Ah one thing I'm sure I'd learn from this four days.
I'm never entering a job that makes you write on demand.
This girl may be an awesome writer at times (Nah, now I'm just pushing it.)
But nooo, you order order order, me cringe cringe cringe, and then you just get crap out of it.
THEN, I'm fired.
Great job.. GREATTT job.

swing swing ;
11:29 PM;

Am rid of the countdown.
A day before that. And hell arrives.

It's another one of those years. Damn it. Gonna have to cancel/adjust plans again.

I'm just gonna enjoy my last few days of true holidaying. Damn I'm just so stupid not to make plans this whole week.

**

Never mind,
mask on,
and a detached view,

I can conquer this.
Again.

swing swing ;
6:27 PM;

I was taught dignity all my life.
(Paranoia, too.)

Damned if I don't keep my cool.

**

Little doll's the new theme.
Soon it'd be the polished shiny windows. God.
I'd better stop changing the themes, it's getting from bad to worse.

Maybe one day I'll reconsider using colours again.

I'm currently screwed up in the head,
so ignore my nonsense musings.

.. I'd never know fear till I'd met fear.
May fear not come near me. Lol.

**

Hope you're having a good time with your family,
I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to wish you a good trip before you left.
(I should kick the bad habits soon.)
Missed you, missing you, will miss you till you come back.

swing swing ;
11:39 PM;

you shouldn't come near retarded people.
they are retarded, they are self destructive.

throws things everywhere-

swing swing ;
2:06 AM;

Sunrise,
An exhilarating run,
So breathless,
But smiling.
At least, with every light ray,
we're chasing the seven colours of our rainbow,
we're chasing bliss.

But why is it that,
with every sunset,
you become sober again?

With every mistake made,
I smile, I cry,
I fall, I fly.

A never ending cycle, it really is.

swing swing ;
5:38 PM;

CONFIDENCE BABY.
All I should do now is to finish it up. I'm fast, I'm zoomz, I'm *thumbs up* good.

Proof it darling.
Wow them with your ultra-cuteness, and your super imba acting skills.
Yea, I'm gonna do that.
(Or at least, try to.)

I am good at acting.
I will act my part.

I will be great tomorrow morning.

(Totally needed the ego boost. So, shut up.)

swing swing ;
11:40 PM;

"You put a spell on me, I don't know what to do." - The Spell, Alphabeat <3

Omgzxzxzxzx. IT GREW ON ME, I SWEAR.
I like goofy dancing, with a tambourine ;D

And now I'm crooning to the moon <3

Pretty boys (Bill Kaulitz), great tunes (The Spell, Alphabeat), and good work (Kukuman!) make me really happy.
See? Like this.
=DDD!

I bet I'll get sick of The Spell by the next week .________.
Cus I'd be listening to it over and over again. Hahaha.

swing swing ;
12:00 AM;

Srsly, I heart PW!
:DDD

Cus Little Miss Kampong makes everything so much better (:

The many days of hard work didn't go to waste.
Ahhh I'm so happy with my wonderful teammates =D
(They didn't even scold me when I have been continuously late for so many meetings. :x)

Mygod. I'm sure I'll be able to high instead of being the nervous stuttering self I was a few practices back. ^^
Yay,

Oh must bring chapteh. (Nods vigorously to self.)

Hooray PW is so much fun now,
which is boomz considering it's the last few days.
People normally lose motivation at this stage, ain't it?

LITTLE MISS KAMPONG GOGOGO! (Srsly, don't comment on my usage of "boomz". If you do, ttmh! <3)

**

TODAY IS A BRIGHT YELLOW DAY OF SUNSHINE AND SMILES.
I'm not the girl in our vid HAHAHA. (Lol at sad face.)

We ate sushi today after everything's over in school.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA <3
IM SO HIGH!

._.

I shall stop blogging.
LITTLE MISSAMPONG <3

swing swing ;
7:18 PM;

swing swing ;
12:11 AM;