Secrets are nice to keep.

Double identities, hah.

**

Didn't get to shop after all.
"But at least I got to finish SOME work."

Yea, quite comforting.

I bid you farewell, my dear 2009.
Hopefully your friend 2010 will be kinder to me?
I doubt so, since 2010 is friends with Monster A Levels.

Man, lonely countdown again.

Toast, 2010.

xoxo

swing swing ;
7:33 PM;

It's amazing the way certain songs break my heart and sew the pieces back simultaneously.

I've lost some inspiration again, have no idea what to blog even as my mind is screaming for me to type.

Taylor Swift's Forever and Always is stuck in my head. Again.
Her lyrics are wonderful. Even non-fairytale chicks dig her songs, srsly.

One foot in, the other out,
Are we really doing this, again?

I'm proud to say I've finally done some work today,
it's the beginning of the two week countdown,
and I'm finally sobering up.
Please let this stay. I like this atmosphere.

I have a life, finally.

There's something worse than crying one night because you were thinking too much,
and that is waking up the next day and trying your best to keep your swollen eyes open.
I need to do some yoga perhaps. Maybe it'll help with my emotions.

I need some life in my life.

Don't you just hate it when you churn up something really good in your head,
didn't get a chance to record it down,
and lose it because you're getting old and amnesia's a constant in your life?

I hate it, alot.

My hand's not alone.
It's anticipating another.

Maybe if I just rub my head hard enough with the wall,
it will catch fire and..
.. I will scream, right?
Not a good idea. Abort, abort.

That's it, I'm writing.
It wouldn't turn out bad, I just need practice.

Start,
Bag,
Memo,
Facebook,
Delete,
Confirm,
Add,
Writing,
Confirm,
Add,
Studying,
Confirm,
Add,
Reading,
Confirm,
Add,
Silence,
Confirm,
Done,
Save game,
Overwrite data,
Reboot.

Okay, if this turns out well, I'm gonna demand for many many things by this time of the year next year!
And I'd be able to cope well with university life too.
Ah, great plan.

Just make sure you follow it first.

Okay, reminder.
Shopping trips are necessary once they are gone.
I lack good quality shopping trips now. ):

Sweet dreams,
xoxo

swing swing ;
10:59 PM;

On the 23rd, I was suffering from leg cramps and the inability to walk straight, see straight.
Went back home and realised my face, arms and legs were red. (Y)
All in all, was a great day.
Not the typical day I spend in the hols, yknw.
Had great fun.

On the 24th, I was on the way with my music blasted from my earphones into my ears.
The sudden realisation that my mp4 playlist was a little outdated didn't help, much.
So here's a reminder to update it whenever I feel like it, which would probably be never.
Great, took the bus for a really really really long time, facing those roadbumps would have actually been fun if not for the fact that I missed my shopping time.
Was gutted, am STILL gutted ):

On the 25th, Santa had a new name: Kind. I saw this.. thing, that I really REALLY like.
But then, there's something very distressing about the way you'd see something you've always wanted, you'd reach out for it, and then just when it's served to you on an attractive and expensive looking platter, your dream ends. Not due to finance issues, not due to anything important, really. Your dream just died like the shark whose fins are in your tasty soup. It may have tentalised your tastebuds, you may or may not have drooled and caused the deaths of many around you when they drown in said drool, but goodbye and poof.
I'm depressed on Merry (not) Christmas. I shall not say hohoho like the pathetic white bearded man with the nice red hat, huhuhu shall be it. Huhuhu stands for I'm Depressed.
Food and Christmas are hardly the best metaphors in my opinion, but they'll do.
Huhuhu, Merry (again, NOT) Christmas.

On the 26th, I was hungry. AM hungry. I think my once-small appetite has disappeared.
I hope it doesn't come back when 2010 arrives. Stress does that to me, it.
Am gonna bond with some other stuff than my computer, I guess. There are things more important than the damn computer.
(Yes, tell that to yourself, darling.)
Then, I guess I have to start fighting already. Christmas, for goodness sake, is actually over. It's time to panic.

I will be one.
Not two, not three, not four, and certainly not five.
I will be one.
That's my new resolution. Early one, I suppose, but that can't be helped.

Great. Bye.

swing swing ;
6:31 PM;

I read my previous few blog posts and realise my last I-don't-sound-depressed-and-angsty post was many many many posts away.

Wow, I hope people don't wish me a Merry Christmas a few days later. Cus I certainly don't have the heart to tell them they're wrong.

swing swing ;
10:47 PM;

swing swing ;
10:34 PM;

Hate is a strong word,
but I really really really don't like you.

Really really really.

**

Here's to a half-attempt at growing taller/fatter.
Drink milk everyday, keep as stress free as possible,
eat the damn vitamins,
stay as angry as possible cus i actually do eat more when i'm upset,

Lol. Impossible, actually. Since I can't possible stay stress free.

Ahwell,
Toast.

**

Restless, breathless.
Normal life, don't run away from me.
I need you to survive.

swing swing ;
12:24 PM;

Vexed,

I'm changing my rules.
Never think a day is normal till it's 23:59:59.
I hope one second isn't enough time to build up a storm.

I thought today was a normal day,
Well, I was wrong.

So what's up what's up?
Why you fussing now?
Breathe a little, lie a little,
Relax a little now.

I hate emotions.
Hate is an emotion.
I hate hate.
I hate emotions.

Emotions make people lose their nerves.
Emotions make people violent.
Emotions make people lose logic,

Emotions make people weak.

I'm staying.
Please don't wreck the place.

Don't lose your nerve, don't lose you nerve, don't lose your nerve.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

swing swing ;
7:15 PM;

swing swing ;
4:07 PM;

defused the mine,
this is not what i meant when i said i liked hugs.

toe's being a throbbing bitch.
it hurts like hell, hope my nail grows back properly.

i'm an angel with a plastic halo and paper wings,

this week has started on a pretty bad note,
from letting go of something important yesterday,
to injuring my toe today and stepping on the minefield again.

i need to be careful.
i need to be strong.

swing swing ;
3:23 PM;

I feel remorse,
I know I am able to,
but I'm never going to start listening to myself again, am I?

I'm sorry I let things go.

**

Went for Love for a Dollar cip at Lot 1 today.
I am an epic failure because I get flustered when it comes to things I have to do with my hands.
I know it's just gift wrapping, damn it.
But it'd felt like a SPA okay. Yknw, practicals?
Not cool, dude, I know, right?
(Don't laugh at me, seriously. I'm depressed enough.)

Hahah, thank god that was just one customer. They didn't exactly have a very good attitude anyw, so HEY, I'M NOT SORRY FOR BEING FLUSTERED AND MAKING YOU WAIT (:

Uhm, Sandy got pretty pissed at them for donating a few cents only lol.

(Again, I'm sorry I let things go. I ought to say thank you. :/ But it's always difficult to say goodbye lawl.)

Ate at Koba for the first time in a long long time. God, I swear, they made the biggest mistake ever when they closed down that damn JEC. And now Jiayi tells me it's not gonna ever open again. Whattheshit?

Anyway, flustered..
Sigh, I'm very sad lol.

**

Didn't go dokidoki,
but was close enough.
Wasn't my usual type,
but was close enough.

动心，

遗憾 ):

swing swing ;
7:35 PM;

Caution: This may be a bit of a bimbo post (cus i can't really think now)
so.. :D

AHAHAHAHAHAH sorry here's the promised post i forgot to post ._________.

anyw, these few days have been pretty happening (:

firstly, i went out on.. monday i think, to ion orchard to meet haiwei,
who i haven't seen for like, a long long time!
so, like, yay!
so i ended up making new friends too, namely anissa and jason ahahahaha.
they're really friendly people ohmygod.
(and the four of us turned out to be rather fond of taking pictures)
so we took pictures (:
(the christmas tree at ion was pretty i swear. and i think i should tour the place more, i live so near, but i know so little!)

then on the 8th, (yes i remember the date all thanks to gohjiayi.)

JIAYI: OHMYGOD, THE 8TH! I CAN'T WAIT!

and yes i do agree that in the end, the 8th turned out to be something to "can't wait" for.
hey, taylor lautner was drool-worthy hot okay.
edward was.. haha, i'm not gonna comment,
but the thing (yes, THING.) i like most is,
JACOB WEREWOLF!

goddammit, the wolf's cute kay.

i like sherlock holmes and the wasting bullets thing too,
and i like the "marshmallow" thing!
*winks, jacob jacob!*
because i'm lacking a word to insult people with (:
hmm, i hate the chinese translation of everyone's names.
ai de wei, or smth like that. goddammit.

so the movie kinda sucked la, cus.. wadde, the.. nvm.
dont want to spoiler.

we had a superb time, cus i really love my gang.
they are a good gang yknw, i think tht facebook picture is gna stay thr for a very long time.

then, thr's the really big news,
i finally removed my bracies.
and hooray to me, cus.. lol, i also dno why must hooray.
need retainer, and i STILL can't smile too wide, cus can see the outline.
ahwell, i shall stick with my closed-mouth smile.

oh, and one of the dentist was darn amused at my "antics"
hey comeon, i was a little tense,
and my gag reflex is really strong,
(no i didn't gag lol)
and they're making me real nervous, yknw, prodding around, and it's just sensitive,
and,
WADDE, WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING TENSE? LOL.
heh, so i was tense, and the dentist called me cute.
(of course i'm cute. no need to say i also know. XD)

hmm, so..
seriously, man. it's kinda uncomfortable now, cus it's still rather sensitive.
ah, guess i shall just wait till thurs, for the retainer, then..
should be fine bah.

troublesome ):

sigh, sian leh.

i dno how i can be so easily confused and overly sensitive when i am a master of mixed signals myself.
i give out mixed signals all the time, i confuse people,
but people confuse me easily too.
too easily.

like i said, a bimbo post.
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.

swing swing ;
9:33 PM;

omg, i remove my braces le :DDD
i tell you, it's darn weird not feeling the metal and.. plastic(?) in my mouth anym.

lol.

aw man, but i can taste the slight taste of blood in my mouth. ><
(so this is what it feels like to be a vampire huh? XD)

HUALALALALALALALALALALA,
(:

will post again when i get home bah, most probably after the cleaning :DDD

LOL..
LALALALALALALA

(i want watch avatar &sherlock holmes. okay, must jiayou first, work before play :D)

BTW!
I LOVE HATSUMI,
I LOVE ONII-CHAN :D
I LOVE AZUSA O.O
I LOVE RYOKI! <3

LALALALALA. (GOING MAD, IGNORE PLEASE :D)

swing swing ;
3:14 PM;

Mess.
*draws squigglies everywhere*

But I have this sneaking suspicion it wouldn't be such a mess if i wasn't miss understood again.

Oh well, I've got past it. Nobody's gna clear up the mess, so I'm abandoning it.
Even though it's created a hole in me.
My HP has gone down quite a bit.

But I have those potions and whatnots with me, right?

I love messes.
Gives me a reason to create an episode.
I'm an attracting attention brat.

I really wish I wasn't Miss Understood again.

My past mistakes,
they will never be forgotten.

How can I not be like this,
this.. character of mine,
if.. I'm not allowed to make mistakes.
If, I'm hard on myself when I screw up?

But if I'm really so hard on myself,
why am I making even more mistakes?

Goes round and round.
I can't stand it.

**

Edited:

Lol. As usual, making it worse.

Damn aftermath.
I can't even recuperate from the mine explosion.

So much for the belief that she would understand, she would help me.

Look, I'd have apologised for asking you to come home because I was weak,
because I couldn't bloody handle it.

I would have.

But since you're being so bloody difficult about everything as well,

I'm shutting my bloody trap up.

You're not the only bloody victim okay,
you snap sometimes too, I've seen it before.

WHY CAN'T I SNAP FOR BLOODY ONCE?!

I'm just not in the mood to talk about it, why can't you leave me alone.

I'm fine with pretending everything's fine.
I'm listening to my music,
I'm fooling around with my Facebook.
I'm not messing around with your head,
so stop messing around with mine together with her.

I thought we were supposed to be on the same side?

Wth.

swing swing ;
10:10 PM;

swing swing ;
12:29 PM;

close call.
me panic. me walked to and fro in rain, with heavy bag, in minotaur t, as usual.
me pissed off.
me wronged. me gets even more pissed off.

me walking on mines everyday.
blow up, not pretty.
so me is careful.

me play pokemon with dearest haiwei just now.
me is happy,
because me win (only because me is level 59 and poor thing is level 2)

me sees colourful rainbows.
but rainbow far far.
me don't want walk.
me sit down and stare.

me lies down,
me sleeps for a while.
me look at sky, rainbow pwetty.
but rainbow say byebye.
me sad.

then me look at sky again.
eee.
me see raindrops.

me kicks, me runs,
me WHEEE cus me sees friend friend.
then friend friend say byebye like rainbow.

me forget it.
me go sleep.
otherwise kena mine.
like me said,
blow up,
not pretty.

swing swing ;
10:04 PM;

And now she's being bad ass,
And now she's laughing her mean laugh,

And now she's breaking again.

Not in the mood to continue the story,
Writing about bunnies who know nuts about trust is rubbish when you currently diss Trust.

Who cares about trust when you wanna get drunk.

"You ungrateful bitch, half your troubles, people younger than you can handle, and the other half, you deserved it."

Tht's tht annoying tiny (Come to think of it, it's ANYTHING but tiny) voice again.

The notion of throwing yourself into the Dark Castle Where The Evil Dragon Lives is real scary, it's got me trembling now.

Just remember, half the troubles, others can handle. So suck it up and go on walking.
(Not down the plank and into the ocean full of sharks, hopefully.)

swing swing ;
9:26 PM;

swing swing ;
3:20 PM;

Rofl, my current five minute obsession of the day,
(or night)
is this comment posted by a guy named Syed Taha Iftikhar.

You know you always have the chain horror message passed around,
something that goes something like this:

Hi, my name is Mary. I was brutally murdered by my father. Now that you've started reading this, you cannot stop. If you do, at exactly tomorrow midnight, I will come to your house and..

Yes you know the rest. It's fine if you'd like her to rape you.

Anyway, that guy completely followed up with a:

hi my name is not brian,i did not die in a car crash.anyways now tht you have started reading this you can't stop-well you can i just don't want you to.at about 10:00pm tonight when you click the home button on facebook you will automatically be redirected to the homepage!OMG!did you know tht?=O

Which, really, really made my day.
Or my night.

Another obsession of mine is the video that Constance took of me and Jiayi playing slap the hand.
It's really stupid. I didn't know we had the capability of going mad like that.

Tomorrow's another tough day. Again, as long as things stay the same (because I'm rigid)
I'm fine. It's nothing I haven't handled before.

**

And until the day I die, ♥

swing swing ;
11:49 PM;

swing swing ;
10:03 AM;